*This post was originally written Mar 2021*
Well, it has been a hot minute since I have written on this blog, but when God does something for you, it's hard to keep quiet about it. This past year has been exciting, new, difficult, and very different for me in a lot of ways. First off, COVID-19 happened and changed not just my life but the entire world's in a span of two days. My social life was taken from me, I was not allowed to go to school and sit in class with my new friends, I could not take any of the trips that I wanted to, and I couldn't even go to our church's youth camp, much less set foot inside the one place I thought was safe: the house of God. I lived, breathed, and ate in the same place with the same people at the same times. It was like clock-work, and I hated it. Finding contentment was an absolute struggle for me (if you want to know more about that, please read my other blog post designated on that topic), and life was what appeared to be a never ending cycle of disappointment. However, God brought me through it and now, a year later from all things wreaking havoc in this world, I find myself in a new season of life I never could have possibly envisioned. I'm in a wilderness of waiting.
Which, is kind of hilarious and albeit, a little frustrating.
Here's the backstory of my life: I am currently a junior in college majoring in occupational science at a university that you could not have paid me money to go to when I graduated high-school--which I think is hilarious now that I attend it. Oh, and my major is something I had never anticipated really changing. If you had told me two years ago that I would be doing what I am doing now at the school I am going to, I would have laughed in your face. My, how the tables have turned. I thought I knew everything there was to know about life at the ripe age of eighteen. Isn't it crazy that the older you get the more you realize you know nothing at all?! Moving on, I transferred schools during the middle of my sophomore year and decided to live at home in order to save money. Although I was happy to be back home, I wasn't really thrilled about the idea of leaving my friends behind me and starting fresh. It was more bittersweet than anything. Little did I know that I would be forfeiting some of my rights and freedom when I moved back in with my parents. Who knew you couldn't just do what you wanted to after moving back in with mom & dad? Soo, flash forward to the present:
I live at home, I go to school three days a week, I have a job, and I'm single. I'm in a wilderness of waiting on God for some things in my life, I'm still trying to figure out how God is going to use my major on His mission field, and I'm learning how to be an adult without actually living on my own at the same time. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place in my life. I'm in the pasture God has called me to be at for now, but some times, I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing here, and today was just one of those days where I shook my head in frustration and asked God: What the heck? What is the purpose of all of this? Why can't I be "there?" In my conversation with Him, I said, "I'm in a wilderness, and I understand it a little bit, but I don't understand it all." You see currently I'm going through this book with a couple of other young women. The book is called, "Wait and See," by Wendy Pope and its solely focused on learning how to find peace and rest in God's pauses and plans when waiting on Him. Honestly, that book has proven to be a huge God-send in my life because it fits right within the season I'm currently in. Well, one of the things the book focuses on is the character of David in the Bible. David spent time in the pasture tending sheep and doing what he knew to do for the season of life he was in. He spent a long time in that pasture staying faithful to his duties before he was crowned King even when he knew he would eventually sit on the throne. David remained faithful all throughout the pasture God placed him in. As such, the book likens our seasons of waiting to pastures we've been placed in (temporarily) in which God is using to grow us. In a sense, the pasture (representing the little things we're doing now) prepares us for the kingdom (representing the big thing we're waiting on), and if we miss what's in the pasture, then we won't be as prepared for what's to come later.
So, after I got done voicing my frustrations and complaints to God about my current pasture, I picked up my Bible and started reading Psalm 63. When I got to Psalms 65, this is what I read:
"Thou crownest the year with thy goodness; and thy paths drop fatness. They drop upon the pastures of the wilderness: and the little hills rejoice on every side. The pastures are clothed with flocks; the valleys also are covered over with corn; they shout for joy, they also sing."(verses 13-15).
Coincidence? I think not. Today, God reminded me that there is joy to be had in the pasture. While I am waiting in the wilderness, God's goodness is still abundant, and He has not forgotten about me. He has crowned the year with His goodness--even this past year, the year of all years, He's still been faithful. His character has not changed. "The pastures are clothed with flocks." They are ripe with purpose. They are full of potential. "The valleys also are covered over with corn." The land isn't stagnant, the soil is good, the fruit of God is growing. "They shout for joy, they also sing." The pasture exudes joy. What could be more promising than that? Today was just another one of God's beautiful reminders that life is indeed, still good in the hills and valleys along its wildernesses. For it's those little hills and valleys that teach us the most about who God is and help us adequately appreciate Him in our seasons of waiting.
Praise Him in the Pasture.
--Hailey Renee
Comments