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Writer's pictureHailey Brogle

The Friend of the Bridegroom

*This post was originally written Oct 2021*


Recently, I have been meeting a friend for discipleship, and we have started going through the book of John. This week our assigned reading was John chapters 3 & 4. Today, as I finished reading John chapter 3, I was really touched by verses 29 & 30.


For context, John has been baptizing people preparing their hearts for the coming of the Messiah. By doing so, He has gained followers that look to him and stand by his cause. With these followers, John has also received visits from the Pharisees asking him who he is, what he's doing, and if he's the Messiah. Each time, they ask him if he is Christ, John always confesses he's not the Messiah but that Jesus is, and that he himself is not even worthy enough to loosen Jesus' shoe. So, in chapter 3, when John is still baptizing people, some of the Jews notice that all of the people are coming to Christ and are following Him instead of John. So, what do they do? They tell John about it.


In verse 26 they come up to him and say, "Rabbi, he that was with thee beyond Jordan, to whom thou barest witness, behold, the same baptizeth, and all men come to him."


To which John replies in verses 27-28, "A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven. Ye yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before him."

His response is very matter-of-fact. John is just kind of casually like, "Well, a man can't have anything except it be given to him by God, and I told you, I'm not the Messiah, but that I go before him soo, I'm not really sure what you want me to do about it. This is what's supposed to happen" (in my own paraphrasing). The words that he speaks contain the truth, and he's not angry or mad about the fact that all men are going to Jesus. Instead, He's made aware of that, and responds back in love and truth.


Notice verses 29-30:


"He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease."

I love this. "He that hath the bride is the bridegroom." John knew that Jesus was Christ, and He knew that Jesus's mission here on earth was to redeem people and save them from their sins. He also knew that he (himself) was not the Messiah because he would not be the One risking his life for the entire world or, all of humanity. John was not the bridegroom because he didn't have a bride. He knew his place, and his place was beside the King of Kings who would be ransoming back his people unto him. Jesus was the bridegroom and the church was his bride. John was just glad he got to be a part of it. His joy was fulfilled in that he was standing beside his Savior. He was standing beside his Christ, and He was serving his King. His joy came from knowing that whatever work he performed or whomever he baptized was all for the glory of God because he understood that Jesus was Lord. John's place was underneath Jesus. Christ was first and John was second.


And wouldn't we do well as Christians to live out John's example? Would it not be better for us if we understood our place as the friend of the bridegroom? Would we not have a better relationship with our Lord if we truly treated Christ as first in our lives and ourselves as second? John's example of what a true follower of Christ looks like is tremendous. It's so humbling because it's so pure. John was not kidding around when it came to serving God, and he was serious about his relationship with Christ. You can see that from where he placed his joy. His joy was fulfilled in a person, not a position. He was not worried about losing followers. He did not care that all men were seeking Jesus instead of him. He did not have the slightest concern about being socially accepted in the sight of the Jews or Pharisees. Why? Because when your joy is rooted in Christ, your perspective changes, and suddenly, all that matters about your position in life is whether or not its close to Jesus. John knew that. He got a hold of that early on in his ministry, and his life was forever changed by that principle.


He must increase, but I must decrease.

I wonder if we can say the same today. Is my life reflecting Christ, or am I living to gain the approval of others? Am I increasing Jesus and decreasing my status, or, am I increasing my status and decreasing Christ? Who am I exalting? What's my motive? Do I really exist to worship God, or do I just like pretending to be his friend? I think all of these questions can be answered by checking to see where our joy is coming from. If we aren't fulfilled standing next to the bridegroom, listening to His voice, and being there for Him then are we truly fulfilled at all? What's taking His place in our lives? What can we do to help rearrange those things so that we are truly able to say, "He is first. I am second."


Be a friend of the bridegroom, live to serve Jesus, and be satisfied in Him alone.


--Hailey Renee

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