* I started writing this blog the week of Sep 11-17 but I did not have the time to post it until now*
Here lately, I've been having the hardest time staying motivated. I study 24/7, work, come home, sleep, then repeat. The days are long, some of my classes are exhausting, and grad-school is kicking my tail. I am feeling rather overwhelmed at the moment, and it's just been hard to get used to. I wish I could be done with school, but I still have two years left. :(((
Currently, I am in a fieldwork class where I get to go to an assisted living center every week and work with a resident one-on-one. I was already feeling a little apprehensive about this because our team of students was going to be working specifically with people who have dementia and/or Alzheimer's Disease. I knew going into this semester, that working in this setting was going to be hard. I had recently lost my nana in April due to dementia, and I just didn't want to be thrown into that type of setting again... I was fearful it would bring back unpleasant memories.
So, the first week of class, I get there, and I learn that I am assigned to a resident. I don't know anything about this person, what they look like, how severe their cognition is, or what their deficits are. I am supposed to meet them, introduce myself, and perform an evaluation on this client--mind you I have never done this before, so I'm a bit scared.
Well, I walk in and I am assigned to this really sweet & precious lady. She seemed willing to work with me and she was so easy to talk to. I loved getting to know her, and she reminded me of my Nana. I performed my evaluation, I did some assessments on her, and then we just chatted about life. She told me where she was from, where she grew up, and that she was married. That day, I was thankful that I had a client who was receptive to working with me, but as soon as I left the building I got in my car and cried because her stages of dementia were a lot like my grandmother's and it was hard being there. Grief is one of those things that hits you differently, and that day it was triggered. So, I came home and texted my cousins & sister about her and told them to pray for me because she was going to be my resident for the rest of the semester, and I was just going to have to get through it.
That was week 1. Week 2, I go back and see her and we finish up more of her evaluation. We worked a couple of puzzles together, and since that week our group was in charge of planning an activity for the residents, we worked on painting suncatchers and planting herbs. She loved it. She got her own pot and herb, dill. She was able to plant the herb in the soil, and a couple of my classmates helped decorate the pot. I'm really glad our activity turned out well, and she left with a smile on her face. I got in my car, this time I did not cry, and I left feeling satisfied.
So week 3 rolls around which was this past week (the most terrible week I have experienced thus far in grad school). I'm feeling very stressed, I have two exams two days apart from each other and a huge assignment due. I wasn't really feeling like going to the assisted living center on this particular day, and honestly I had been wondering why I was assigned this resident specifically...better yet, why I was even at this particular facility for my first fieldwork placement. I mean of all places, it just had to be the dementia unit, and I just had to have a patient that reminded me of my Nana. But, my cousin Mattie and my sister had reminded me previously that there was a reason why I was there and that God had a purpose for it. So here we are, it's only Tuesday, and I'm already feeling very discouraged about how the rest of the week is going to go. I'm at the assisted living center, I don't want to be there, but I think to myself, maybe there is a reason why I'm supposed to be here.
This week, the residents are all outside enjoying some lunch and live music. I go find mine who is eating with her husband and sit beside her. At first, we're just making light conversation and then her husband asks me where I'm from. I tell him and then he proceeds to tell me that he knew some Brogle's from that area and asked me if I knew them by chance. Coincidence? I think not.
So I told him, "that's my family!" He said, "are you serious, do you know of a fellow named W.C. Brogle?" and I'm like "yeah, that's my grand-dad!" At that point, he turns to face me full on and places his hand on my knee and says, "Get out of here! We used to be best friends growing up. Honey I spent many nights at his house and he did mine too. I was there when such & such happened" and now he wants to know if so & so is still living and how my grand-dad is doing and all kinds of stuff. Haha isn't that crazy?! What's even crazier is that he and his wife had just attended a funeral visitation for my grand-dad's aunt who just so happened to be my resident's first-cousin, Anne Brogli. Anne was my Sunday School teacher way back when, and she & my resident were like sisters growing up. When she found out that I knew her, she cried. When I found out that they knew my family, I cried haha, but they were happy tears, and they brought healing to my soul. After discovering a little bit more of my resident's background, I felt that we were connected, that this was the reason why I was there and why she was my resident. I could feel God in that moment, haha. Don't you think He knew what He was doing when He assigned me to her at that specific facility? It's amazing really. What a small world. Nothing is by accident, and on that Tuesday, the Lord reminded me that He's still good even when life is tough.
When I left later that evening, I was able to get my resident's husband's phone number and I'm currently working on getting him re-acquainted with my grandad. He's still able to get out and ride around, so I'm hoping that he makes his way to Lincoln County. If not, I've offered to take my grand-dad to go see him. It just makes a difference when you know that these people are not strangers. They've shared a lifetime of experiences with some of my closest relatives, and I just believe that is absolutely insane that I get to play a role in their lives as well. It's kind of like an affirmation that I'm right where I'm supposed to be doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and the Lord is providing grace for each step of the way. OT school is hard but God's grace is sufficient. His strength is perfect in my weakness, and He's my biggest supporter by far. I'm very thankful to know Him and be known by Him. In this crazy life of tests, school, ups & downs, Jesus is the one thing that is constant. I love it when he meets me in my mess and shows up unexpectedly. The Lord is good y'all, He's ever so faithful to remind me of that even when I forget.
--Hailey Renee
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